XXX

I confess....that I have a porn addiction.

Food porn.

While other people might troll the Internet for flesh, I look at menus. There's a site with a ton of Boston menus...I could never see them all but I keep tabs on whatever is in the "most viewed" queue. I imagine what I'd get...apps, dinner, dessert, wine. When I have actual plans for a special meal, I have it all set ahead of time. And I get darn pissy if they go and change things on me. I want what was advertised, what I've had in my head all these days, my fantasy. I want the real thing, not the stunt double.

I watch my food porn TV too. In fact, I tend to watch it on Sundays during my long treadmill run. I know I look quite odd sweating away with pictures of burgers and molten chocolate cake on my treadmill's TV screen. Really, it isn't some sadisitc ritual...I'm not punishing away the food thoughts. Food porn works well for my workout because it doesn't require 100% of my attention but occupies enough of my brain to keep me from calling it quits. Okay, there is a little motivation in knowing that one habit makes the other one a bit more okay....the running certainly does let me indulge more than people would expect. I think my fellow gym-goers dislike the habit, not appreciating the "intrusion" of indulgences into their workout time. Oh well. I don't want to see the celeb-gossip or sports headlines you are watching so I'll keep my eyes on my screen and you do the same. 'Kay?

I know women who are recipe-addicts. That's so not me. I can cook, I have the ability to follow a recipe and have done so with success before. I choose not to. I don't enjoy it in the least. I don't watch cooking shows. Totally bore me. I want my meal pre-assembled, pretty, and perfect. I suppose it'd be like watching a "real" porno be made...it isn't as much fun when you have to look at the step-by-step reality, without airbrushing. I'll keep the fantasy.