Tuesday, December 22, 2009

anxious, or not, or maybe so

I confess...I'm taking it in stride, and somehow worried about that.

I've been injured for a while. Rest really hasn't helped, but doing much at all is completely out of the question....it hurts just to walk to the ladies room (which I do more since I'm not dehydrated from a morning w/o)...heck, it hurts even sitting or lying down. I have an appointment next week to get things looked at and get more advice. So I'm being "good" and "smart."

I've done surprisingly well with not working out, compared to past experiences where it was pretty anxiety producing. Now here's the frank part with the admission I don't want to really make...I think that's because I also started on an antidepressant (another blogger helped me realize the importance of being frank about these things...more people need to be). I'm not sure if it has made me less anxious or if it is the fact that it has definitely made me more lethargic. I feel a bit bad about the missed treadmill dates but not the way I would have. And I haven't felt the need to cut back on food or anything. I have had MORE "off" days...but that's actually normal for me when I am gym-limited and related to both my birthday, the holidays, and it just being cold out.

But there's a part of me that's really worried by my lack of worry. It is FINE now...it is GOOD now...when I really should NOT being pressing myself and SHOULD be resting. But will my motivation come back? I KNOW I can (and should) cut my normal mileage back a bit...but it would not be healthy to stop entirely either. Especialy if I continue with the extra dining after the holidays end.

Really, only I can get anxious about not being anxious. It's a talent.