a rough few weeks...a messy allergic reaction and a tough treatment...

(warning: another ramble about health demons...I'd write something more interesting, but this is what I've got to share....)

Sometimes it's almost amusing....almost....

When I was 13, I started getting hives.  I spent a couple years in and out of doctor's offices, even making it to some pretty special specialists with "hive clinics" and "hive calendars" and the like.  At first, the hives were large welts that pretty much covered my body.  The ultimate conclusion was that they had no conclusions.  Most likely, it was some form of auto-immune reaction.  Which I pretty much read as meaning I'm allergic to myself. 

Over the years, they've calmed a lot, they are nowhere near the horror they were at some points.  But they are always lurking and I doubt a week goes by when I don't have some sort pop-up, particularly on the backs of my knees and other heat-prone areas.  I do avoid a number of classes of medications because they can aggravate them...while the hives come from nowhere, they can also come from "somewhere"...

All this is a long way of saying that I'm used to my skin acting up.  So when my back would get a bit irritated from the capsacin patches, I just kind of ignored it.  I weighed the demons and the patches helped more than they hurt.  Until recently. 

It was probably the "sticky" ingredients in one of the generic patches that was the culprit.  I've had trouble with the steri-strips and medical tape in the past.  The region on my back stayed aggravated for a few weeks and, despite laying off using any patches and dosing with some allergy meds, it got worse.  And it grew.  It took longer than it should have, but I finally caved and saw the doctor.  By that point my chest and arms were also troublesome, which is putting it lightly, becoming a systemic reaction rather than a localized issue.  It didn't help that I kept caving and scratching...so the rash was joined with areas that were almost raw. 

I suspected going in that they'd do a down & dirty course of steroids to knock my body into compliance.  I'd done the oral steroid thing before and dealt with a bit of water-retention and such, but this time it has been truly horrid.  The first few days I was pretty well incapacitated by nausea and a migraine.  I'm still feeling a bit flu-like and need to chase the meds with other meds to control all the side effects.  The steroids are doing the job, there are traces but the reaction has definitely calmed.  Still, it has been a pretty rough time and I will be thrilled when they are gone. 

I'd liked the capsacin patches.  They helped distract me from the back pain, even if they didn't truly treat it, and I liked the non-pill option.  I'm not risking even the brands that I'd been okay using in the past...it is NOT worth the risk and I suspect that I'd be more reactive in the future. 

My mom remarks that there was a time when she thought the hives would be the hardest thing I'd face physically.  Then came the endo.  Then came the back.  Sometimes I think I HAVE to be done....and sometimes I'm terrified what my body has left to throw....

wherein i ponder...and over-ponder (aka the one about the hairbrush)

I can't say how long it has been for certain, but it was definitely high school at the latest.  I'm change averse, but this one takes it to the extreme.  I've tried to change, but it hasn't worked in the past.  Yesterday, I tried again and I think it took.  I may finally have actually purchased a new hairbrush.

It's odd to be this reflective over something so simple, but it really has been a long time.  It went to college with me.  It went to law school.  It's travelled from ATL to BOS, back to my childhood home near PHL, and now out to SCE (the less well-known airport code for State College, PA).  It prepped for dates with the wrong guys and for a party where I stumbled upon the right one.  It has seen countless hours of fighting with my hair, which has often been the unfair target of a complex affair with the image in the mirror. 

I've bought new brushes in the past, when I simply felt like I should or when I felt like was somehow inappropriate because it didn't look like other women's brushes.  I remember trying as far back as my senior year in college.  It never took and the new brush wound up a gym bag spare, if it was lucky.  But this week, I suddenly felt like the brush wasn't "working" and I bought a new one yesterday, because I actually wanted it.  I spent way too long in the hair aisle, although I will defend it as something of a big decision for any woman and I did pick one fairly different.  And, while it is only 24 hours later, I love it.

I like to find meaning in things.  But, and there's a contradiction in writing this statement, perhaps this change doesn't have any deep meaning.  I'm not tossing my old brush.  It's seen a lot and we have a long history, it is a mere object but the history imbues it with meaning.  But maybe buying a new one doesn't, maybe I simply bought a hairbrush.

Yays and Nays

Okay, I'll admit I mostly wanted to grumble about the first item, but clearly the world needs my opinions on more than one product...

• Natural Instincts Shine Happy - NAY!

I've never dyed my hair, but I've felt itchy for a change of late and have found myself glancing at the home color aisle.  I didn't want to pay for a salon color job and also wanted low commitment, so much preferred something that would wash out in a month (vs have a demarcation if I didn't keep it up).  I only really wanted to bring out a bit of the red I'd had as a kid....I call my hair dark brown but others insist it is black...but wasn't finding anything that felt like what I envisioned. 

Then I saw this product.  The process is like a dye...mix two parts, apply, wait ten minutes, rinse and condition.  It said it would add shine.  It did note it might lightened dark hair a bit.  Sounded good either way...  It did absolutely nothing!  I did not realize it contained peroxide, a complaint I saw in reviews when I was looking for a link (the reviewers said it lightened some folks hair).  My hair does feel a bit "rougher" than it had of late (it has usually felt rough but had improved of late w/ other products)...hoping I didn't do any damage, especially since it was otherwise pointless.  If anything, I have LESS shine.  Definite NAY!

• Jabebo Earrings - YAY!

I was walking the short distance from my eye doc to CVS and spotted some earrings in a shop window.  I wandered in and learned it was a fairly new store, although the business has existed for a bit.  They make earrings out of cereal boxes (they had a sign asking for boxes...I promised them many boxes in the future...a good use for my cereal addiction!), the left and right are different but on the same "theme" and all are miniature images.  I got the penguins (#185 on this page)...adorable, a reasonable $11.50, and supporting a local business and artisan (who supports some great causes himself).  For othe Centre County folks, the store also sells some other cute products.

• Coco Lites - NAY!

I'm a sucker for end cap displays at the grocery store.  Especially when the product looks like it a filling a low-calorie snack.  I actually like most variations of rice cakes, but these tasted like cardboard.  Stale cardboard.  The Military Man agrees.  I rarely just give up and throw a food out, and he's even more likely to try and salvage a product (he'll add spices, hot sauces, whatever it takes to make something edible), but these hit the trash. 

When I was looking for a link, I noticed the Amazon review page....only 6 reviews, but ALL five stars (well, until I added mine!).  I snooped and noticed a couple of the reviewers had only reviewed this item, making them a wee bit suspect.  The others seem to genuinely enjoy the product.  I'm honestly shocked.

• Pure DKNY Touch of Vanilla Perfume - YAY! (and an added YAY! for Kohl's perfume section)

I've never worn a perfume regularly.  I own one bottle that I bought at least five years ago, I'm a bit embarrassed to admit it's Antonio Banderas' Spirit...I had gotten a tester someplace and decided I liked it enough to buy it despite the celeb name.  It always faded fast and I never wore it regularly, though I still like spritzing it on my brush occasionally, it seems to stay better in my hair.

Anyway, I've been wanting to find a scent of late that I could wear on a semi-regular basis.  I can't say what inspired the interest, but I've been trying one on each time I'm around a beauty counter.  I've always found a really high percentage interact poorly with my body chemistry, smelling nice in the bottle but almost foul on me.  A recent trip to Kohl's with MM left me with a bit of time and I appreciated that they have a ton of testers without a pressure-adding salesperson hovering around (though the tester strips were hidden in the corner of only one shelf despite there being a couple of aisles of perfume).  I got lucky, although I sniffed about ten on the testers, this was the only one I tried on my skin and it stayed a "yay."  Fresh, clean, and a hint of vanilla without making me crave cookies! 

And a tip -- If you do get scent at Kohl's, walk around and look for gift sets.  The gift set I found was the same price as the bottle in the perfume aisle for the same size bottle of perfume plus a small tube of lotion.