Monday, May 25, 2020

Two Heart-Wrenching (Yet Very Different) Studies of Women: Thin Girls (Clarke) and A Woman Is No Man (Rum...a mini-review)

Quarantine has my "to be reviewed" pile growing quicker than my "to be read" pile... My job is always behind a keyboard. But while many people seem to be more closely tied to their devices and using them to connect, I'm even more of the "get me outta here" ilk than usual.

Still, I DO enjoy reviewing....I just need some discipline to do it...

I was very unsure about starting this one. I have a history of binge eating (only recognized as a distinct disorder in recent years DESPITE being oh so common...and very different from occasional overindulging or even comfort eating) and some degree of body dysmorphia. I wasn't sure this was a wise read...and, while it is an insightful and at time stunningly beautiful novel...I'm still not sure it was. I'm not one for a million trigger warnings...never frown on the ability to find out what one's getting into, but sometimes it goes too far...but this is tough territory (and includes a few "tips" of the pro-ana variety).

Anyway, twin sisters Rose and Lily are all but one. Lily is a bit more gregarious, but Rose follows closely and is always Lily's number one. Until. As it is wont to do, the girlworld social hierarchy rears its ugly head. And Rose finds a connection in her ability to perfect her anorexic tendencies. Which, sadly, propel her to the top of the pyramid. Lily, initially to "cover" for her sister, eats for two. The book peers back at these adolescent years from their twenties as Rose approaches a full year at an in-patient clinic and Lily dives into a painful-to-watch relationship in which she changes herself, including becoming an adherent to an eating disorder billed as a lifestyle group.

There's a LOT here. And the author either has firsthand experience or delved deep into her topic because so much of the girls' actions and thoughts (we are more privy to Rose's mind than Lily's, but their twinhood makes Rose privy to Lily's mind) ring real (said from some experience of my own and from talking about these issues with some amazing warrior women). True, as another reviewer noted, Rose is more self-aware than most, but she gets at a lot about the intersection of body, selfhood, and sexuality. If you want to get a sense of how someone can disappear down this rabbithole...move from casual dieting to something wholly other...this is a good place to start. The author is certainly a talented wordsmith and an insightful creative mind. I'd love to see another novel from her...and maybe I'd be able to evaluate that more clearly.

But, I can't way it enough, tread with care if you are at all vulnerable. There's a beauty in feeling understood, but if there's any chance it'll feel like validation, then steer clear. 

Rating is hard...3.5 simply b/c it is a default value for me. It probably deserves more....danger doesn't negate beauty, and it is deeply beautiful but also dangerous in the wrong head. Thank you to HarperCollins for the ARC.

I'll catch up more soon...but I need to admit that a few books that won't get the full reviews they deserve. So I want to try and accompany more complete reviews with brief remarks on a book or two rather than leave them out entirely...The plot details are available elsewhere, just some short remarks...
  • A Woman is No Man by Etaf Rum - Strong four stars. Beautiful and heart-wrenching at times. But, I'd love to have seen a few counterexamples...not every Muslim woman is as controlled as some of these characters. Many thanks to Harper for the ARC.

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