Thursday, September 15, 2011

taking control back (from the cookies)

I confess...I'm feeling VERY un-body positive.  I know I am not truly overweight, but I'm not where I want to be and not feeling good.

I generally do not advocate "diet" as a four-letter word.  I prefer to define it as simply "what one eats" and as "lifestyle" rather than a short-term fix.  I tend to scoff a bit at pre-packaged plans or shakes or such thing because they aren't something one can sustain.  That said, I have said in the past that I think such plans can be good for a "blip"...getting rid of a more specific weight gain in a generally healthy lifestyle.  And that's where I am.  I've simply indulged too much in comfort food during my recovery.  Healing does take fuel, but not like I've given it.

Of course, I made it Sunday and Monday before faltering on Tuesday.  But I'm trying to let that pass. 
I suspect I'll still have off-days (weekends, likely...though this week is odd since it is MM's work w/e). I need those in my week.   But I want to get control of the other days and to just get back where I like to be.  And not let the off-days be TOO insane (which they can be).

I'm a daily weigh-er and the scale showed this lapse more than normal....significantly more (seriously, higher than it had been Sunday morning after more than one "off" day).  I know this is why one isn't really supposed to weigh daily, but it's not a habit I see changing.  I do try to keep it in context and I know I fluctuate a good bit.  I have this fear it'll be an "up" day on the one day I weigh if I go weekly. 

No starving...I need nutrition for my bones to grow and heal the back.    I am also noticing a loss of muscle tone...especially in my arms. I can't do much about that for right now.  I can, however, take action and control rather than moping (and eating even more to comfort myself). 

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