a long short month

I confess....I'm still struggling. 

I feel just beat down and worn out.  Part of this is the fact that most nights I seem to only get a couple hours sleep (even if I take Ambien....two might get me to four or five hours).  And part is just February.  I remember gaining a new appreciation for Dar's "February" song in the Boston days but I think I felt the "February was so long that it lasted into March" line.  I'd say February is way crueler than April (English major style reference)....it has been cold "forever" and Spring still feels a long way off.  It really has been a mild winter, but it still gets long and this weekend is bitter cold.

I haven't been at ALL motivated to do my workouts which is really odd.  That may be largely physical...the lack of sleep and an added neck issue...but part is definitely mental.  I've just felt like I'm slogging through it.  I've split it up a few times but even then can't get my six miles done some days.  I am hoping the motivation comes back soon! 

Any advice on getting through a "long" February?

In other news, I was very excited about one job.  It would have been an awesome heart-friendly job with a cool organization and I really think it would have been a great use of my skills.  It was, however, open b/c the incumbent was moving and she suddenly had a change of plans.  Clearly, they should hire me anyway!  It's a non-profit though so they don't really have the ability to add staff w/o a real vacancy. 

I did stop in at a job fair today.  I'd asked permission since it was really for military members but got the okay to attend as a part of a military guy's cheering section....I wore my "dogtag" even if it was tucked away (it labels me as "Private Property"....no, I am not property....yes, I still love the necklace).   I gave out a number of resumes and hope to hear some rumbles next week from it.  I do think it helps for me to be "seen" in some ways, even if it is a bit nerve-wracking.  I have not resorted to pulling the J.D. and attorney work from the resume but I know people worry I'll have a bit of a work ego and being able to talk to people helps with that (one employer specifically noted she didn't see me having any ego about doing entry-level or support work).  I've thought about pulling the legal stuff from more basic applications for non-career stuff (like cashier-dom....which I'd totally do)....thoughts??  I do have the law blogging and paper as current stuff and four years in recruiting but it'd still be a 7 year gap from the end of college to the start of work w/o the attorney work and schooling.

The belly issues of January are still lurking but much better, thankfully.  I did have some awful days with arm trouble....the creepy-crawlies can drive you insane after a few days non-stop and makes you truly feel like you want to cut the arm off!  My PT suspects it is a neck issue and has me doing a chicken-head-bop-type move to help work on it.  It is def better than the first days but not "there" yet.  I have this heating pad for the endo that has straps and I've worn it like a beauty-queen sash more than a couple times.  It works well since it stays put but it smells like popcorn which still makes me think of the summer of 1996 when I spent break working concessions at the local theater.