Friday, April 29, 2011

thank you

I confess...yesterday was an emotional day, but that was to be expected.  It was a quick in-and-out trip to Boston to officially stand before a judge and request a divorce.  It also involved flights home where a layover that was expected to be over 2 hours ended up with us landing at the same time the next flight was loading (in a different concourse, b/c that's how it goes).  I want to give some shout-outs to folks who made the day better, both those I know and the strangers who made it better too:
  • I met MB (initials, no fancy nickname) at a Haverford happy hour and she became part of a group of HaverLawyers that I had great lunches with and with whom I shared both personal and professional challenges.  She offered to come with me as a friend, who also knew the system as a lawyer and had been through a divorce herself.  Her support and presence meant more than I can express.
  • MM came.  That may not have been a classy choice but he seemed to truly want to be there to support me on the trip.  We didn't firmly decide to have him come to the hearing until the last moment.  Again, maybe not classy to have a new boyfriend at your divorce hearing, but emotionally helpful.  And he showed again why I love him by understanding that the day was a hard one.  He didn't speak much when we were with MB for the drive to and the duration of the hearing....I think he just knew it wasn't about him.  And he was good when the tears finally came, understanding that they weren't about wanting X back or about not loving MM, just about the whole emotional journey associated with the end of an 8y relationship.
  • The judge started on my negative list.  The hearing time was 9AM and she didn't come to the courtroom until well after 10.  There was a little paper shuffling before she came in but even that started after 11.  I did overhear an attorney saying it was unusual for this judge.  When she arrived and took cases (we saw parts of two other hearings too), she did it with true class.  She paid attention to details in the agreement (had us add a little clarification and another couple fix some item relating to kids).  She had a lot of form questions she needed to go through but she did so without sounding rote and mechanical.  She looked us in the eyes and talked to us, clearly respecting the emotion of the day and the fact that it may be an ordinary day for her but wasn't for those in court.  She was even kinder to a woman there alone who was just terrified by the process (I wanted to go give that lady a hug).  True class.
  • As I mentioned above, our flight to PHL was delayed and turned our roomy connection to watching the clock tick closer to the takeoff of our second leg.  Since it was late (10:50), the stress amped up a notch knowing that we'd be stuck for the night.  Most of the US Airways folks were a bit cold...I knew it wasn't any of their faults and there wasn't much they could do, but they just weren't very friendly.  We had to take a shuttle to another terminal and the lady at the waiting spot called the gates to check flights for us and two others.  When we got to the F gates and started a jog to the right one, a lady in a cart was pulling up and said "Are you my State College folks?"  She said to get in and that she'd told everyone she was getting us on that plane.  She proved her assertion of being the best at her job as she floored the little cart, speeding BACKWARDS towards the gate.  She was energetic and kind and just a total model of customer service.  I wish I knew her name...she'd totally get an email to the boss giving her props.
Thanks to all who've given me support through this process (and the dozen who "liked" yesterday's FB post about saying goodbye to the past).  Both sets of parents have been very supportive and some supportive words from random places have been vital in this process.  And my blog readers are all lovely too :P


Jodi said...

My turn to confess - I had no idea you were going through all this :( I think I lost your link when Bloglines redid their site and I must have been catching posts here and there that I saw linked on FB, but I missed some big stuff. I'm so sorry you've been dealing with such hard things, and I hope things begin to look up for you now. Thanks for sharing your heart.

The Rambling Blogger said...

well, jodi, i am pretty sure you've had a lot on your plate too so i won't be angry :) there's a post in june when i announced the split and a few updates around. MM (new guy..."military man"...he actually was at CR with us, a year behind) is wonderful though and truly helping