Saturday, January 1, 2011

wherein i make some rules for the grocery store

I confess...I'm not a New Year's Resolution kinda girl.  I do believe in making improvements, but I think they come when they are ready, not because the calendar so decrees.  I am, however, in a decree-making mood and thus you are getting some of the Rambling Mind's Rules.  Today's feature, the grocery store...
  • Yield when turning.  I've thought at times that traffic lights might help in busy times but I doubt that'll happen.  So let's go with general road rules...and add in a STOP sign at the end of an aisle.  Merge nicely. Stay to the right (obviously, you can grab an item on the left, but let's generally be American drivers).
  • I know you just gotta talk about the kids' soccer game with the other shopper folks.  Whatever.  Just don't block traffic folks.  And don't get so involved in your chat that you don't see me trying to get to the Fruit Loops behind you.  And don't laugh at me for buying Fruit Loops.
  • Likewise, feel free to label read and such but pull over if it takes more than a second.  This does not mean take half the aisle with your cart and stand blocking the other half while you decide on a spaghetti sauce.
  • If you see a shortish person (especially a 5'4" gal with long dark hair, brown eyes, tan skin), looking longingly at the top shelf and you happen to be a person of height, please offer aid. I feel silly asking. I've been known to climb (including in the freezer) but I don't think that's considered classy. Or hygienic.
  • Ten items is ten items.  You are not special and allowed to have fifteen.  I, on the other hand, reserve the right to be special if I'm in a rush. 
  • Put your food on the grocery conveyor belt in an organized fashion.  I'm sitting here with a heavy basket and you're using the whole darn thing to put one can of creamed corn at a time.
  • Don't judge.  I eat well all week.  So I deserve my Ben & Jerry's. And Hershey's.  And I know that Shape magazine looks weird with them but I'm a multi-faceted lady.
  • Carts go in their home.  Not against my car.  Not taking up parking spaces.  Not just rolling across the lot like a charging bull seeking out a fender or lost toddler. 
As always, I reserve the right to add rules without notice.  And without posting them.  And to make special rules just for me.

1 comment:

Finesse said...

Good rules. Grocery stores are where I'm most often struck by how absurdly oblivious people can be. It's simple consideration, really, and it's much too lacked.