Tuesday, December 20, 2011

the anti-resolution rambler: working on me

I confess...I am not a fan of New Year's resolutions.  I have rambled about it before, but I think change comes when it is ready rather than when a calendar flips.  I am, however, realizing that sometimes external cues can be cause for evaluation.  For me, my birthday tends to do that more than the calendar flip, but the timing is close since I flip to the next year less than three weeks before the calendar.  I'm not really thinking in terms of make-or-break goals but more "things to work on in year 34."  It is, I think, a more fluid concept.  I hope that I'll continue to evaluate as the year progresses, but a few things I want to focus on as I continue to evolve and grow:

  • Finding what gives me satisfaction -- Minds out of the gutters, folks!  Satisfaction comes in many forms and I want to find things that nurture me and feed me.  This could be tied to the job search but it could also come from elsewhere....if I knew the details, it wouldn't be on the list!!
  • Getting to my physical best -- Like many folks, I have a goal weight in my head.  I doubt that I'll ever stop caring about the digits on the scale.  But I'd really like to work on framing it differently and achieving a body that is healthy and balanced.  I want to know it is a body I work to maintain but also one that I can live in peace with and that also allows me to enjoy life.  It means not abusing myself with binges but also not beating myself up if I slip.  It doesn't mean "perfection"....I don't want to live a life without some indulgence.  My physical best is about balance.
  • Nurturing my relationships -- Of course, the relationship with MM is a big one, but it isn't the only one.  I want to enjoy the people in my life and have relationships that bring joy and strength to both me and the others involved.  I want to take each person as an individual and respect each relationship with that in mind.
  • Giving back -- I'm not sure what the best way is for me, but I do want to feel like I am an asset to the world around me and that I make a difference.  I look at this very broadly....it could be financial support or in-person volunteer work but it could also be supporting others going through battles that I've also endured.  I know my e-buddies help/ed me with so many fights and I'd like to do the same for others who feel alone in their battles.
  • Loving myself -- Again, folks, minds out of the gutters!!  I can own a few of my strengths, but I know I'm harsh on myself.  I often say that we should never treat ourselves any worse than we'd treat our dearest friends.  I want to work on LIVING that, a process that means being honest about my weaknesses when necessary but also owning my strengths and taking care of my inner and outer self. 

3 comments:

Lauren said...

I envy the fact that you can set "things to work on" versus goals. I'm such a goal setter. I'd be much happier without goals.

clg1213 said...

it is something ELSE i work on!! inflexible goals sometimes feel like setting myself up to fail...and i think sometimes it is the effort, not the meeting the goal that matters (ummm...like getting to the RIGHT weight for me, not the magic-in-my-head-number). trying to keep the "striving" aspect w/o the same "judgment"

Lee said...

I agree that there's no reason to wait for New Years to make resolutions but having some sort of start date does help.