"to be" or not "to be"....

I confess...this may make no sense outside my head. Not sure if I can put my thoughts "on paper" but they are rattling loudly in my head so I'd like to try.

I was watching people on the T platform and got caught in a bit of a linguistic game in my head. Let's consider these statements:

• Sally is beautiful.
• Sally is fat.
• Sally is smart.
• Sally has brown hair.
• Sally has cancer.
• Sally has killer abs.

Okay. Where do we draw the line between traits that where we use a "to be" word versus a possessive-like "to have"? It seems to me that linguistically the "to be" traits are being elevated to a different level. They define us. They ARE us. We can play with structure and turn some of the sentences into their "partners" ("Sally has a weight issue", "Sally is a cancer patient"), but it seems like one or the other is often more "natural" for us to use.

What do these distinctions say about our values? Are these distinctions consistent in other languages? In other cultures that share our language?

If you read this blog, you know I have a multitude of body issues and that's where this rattling thought started. Why is weight such a defining characteristic for us? If you were trying to describe me to someone looking for me in a crowd, my hair (long, dark, thick, frizzy mop that it is) would be the best way to tell them which woman I am...not the size on my jeans. So why not "Cheryl is long dark frizzy hair" (yes, you can say "Cheryl is a long-haired gal" but it isn't the normal construction).

On another note, I once wrote a blurb on myself and said "I am a lawyer." A woman wrote back that being a lawyer was my job, not WHO I was overall. But, in those days, it FELT pretty defining. Then again, one of my examples above is "Sally has cancer"...I bet that feels pretty darn defining too.

I don't have anywhere major I'm trying to go with this. But it is my concept to ponder for the moment.

that darn bandwagon (and falling off it)

I confess....routine is my savior and my downfall.

I live by routine. I like routine. But I struggle a lot when I start to break my routines.

I've talked a bit about eating issues here. I keep things in check by being "good" Sunday through Thursday. But I've started to allow more breaks in there and it has become more of a norm to have an off-day in that span. This involves dinner out or a take-out meal....and dessert etc. (I'm way too embarrassed to detail). The only saving grace is these aren't planned...because if I knew it was an off-day, I'd be "off" during the daytime too and as it stands I at least keep my normal habits until dinner (or until a pre-dinner drink).

Likewise, for over two and a half years I've done morning workouts. These really do work well for me, despite the ungodly hour and the fact that it means I need to go to bed with the toddler-set. I always knew that I only kept doing it because it was a routine and that falling off would be trouble. And I've fallen off. I have made up most missed workouts, but it just isn't as good for me to do it in the PM (and is ROUGH on my hair since I get way too sweaty not to at least rinse and condition and then usually want to dry it before I lie down for bed).

I'm telling myself it is a summer hiatus. And there's some truth there. It is harder for me to just go home when it is so bright and sunny out in the evening. And I can get away with evening workouts and not miss Jeopardy while it is on hiatus (yes, I have odd priorities). I also know it is ALL related to stress and work issues....they make it harder to get out of bed (even if I'm up) and start a day and they make it harder to keep the binge-monster at bay.

No solution here. Or even resolutions. Just some rambling because confession can help the soul.

job search tips

I confess....I keep a list

JOB SEARCH RULES (from an attorney recruiter, a work in progress)

• Use a work-friendly email address. “Beerdrinker###” is not work-friendly
• Do not list your FAILING bar exam score on your resume.
• Be a Big Boy. Having your wife call about a job is not a good move.
• You are not who you know. You are not qualified for a job in the medical field because you have a large family of doctors
• It is not impressive to label yourself an “Experiendced” attorney
• Bar passage is required to practice law. Do not try to convince me that you are “better than a barred attorney” for a job because of your life experiences. Experience is lovely, but you still can’t practice law!
• I’m fine with a bit of reaching, but be reasonable. Don’t apply for a job requiring 7-10 years of experience when you only have one (that isn’t remotely on-point)>
• Sell yourself, but be reasonable. Don’t overword: “Experienced administrative professional seeking a full-time position within an office environment wherein application of excellent communication, attention to detail, and organizational skills can be utilized.”
• If a recruiter takes the time to call and explain why you aren't a match for a specific need, do not apply to the same job TWICE the very next day. It shows a lack of attention to detail.
• Think about your target audience. If you are applying to a job in a sports-crazed town, it is best not to indicate you are a fan of a rival team with your email address…Boston hiring folks WILL hold an address that includes “yankeefan” against you
• If you are applying for an attorney job, you MIGHT want to include your JD on your resume. I may not bother to look at your cover note if I don’t think you have the minimum requirements…
• It’s 2009. Don’t address a blind letter “Dear Sir.”
• Use terminology correctly. “I have a JD in Law” is redundant and does not look informed.
• Don’t make controversial, political jokes…levity is fine, but not anything that might offend someone.
• I do understand we are a nation of immigrants. But do not use a phone number where no one speaks English during the day….or at least have them let the machine get calls.
• A little common courtesy, please. I run early, but do not show up a full hour early for an interview without calling. And, if you do, offer to wait…do not act annoyed if you are 60 minutes early when you are asked to have a seat for five minutes while someone gets ready to meet with you
• If you don't know all the major terms in the job description, you are probably not qualified. Do not call and ask what they mean.