a very rambly update

Quick update to show that I haven't completely disappeared....

Still looking for answers on the back pain.  Films suggest that the bones have fused at least somewhat, which is good but means the docs are still unsure what is causing the pain.  Trying acupuncture but the first two rounds haven't given positive results (the second, on Monday, seems to have sparked an INCREASE in pain).  Sticking out the four-week/four-treatment test run.  Really unsure what my next steps will be.

Adding in a little bit of strength-building exercise.  It does spark a temporary pain increase, but I can't take the total lack of muscle tone and the docs don't think I'll cause any sort of lasting damage by doing some well-chosen exercises.  The whole bride-to-be thing may be a major factor here....I miss my tone and miss it even more when I contemplate a strapless gown.  There's also an aspect of resignation....if this is my life, I'm gonna at least try to feel more at-peace with some aspects of my body (this is both a good thing and a bad thing...I could ramble for days on that duality),

I am also taking an Aquacise class at the local Y.  The class includes 10-15 older women (at least one woman in her 80s...), 2 men (one husband, one 50ish post-op knee patient), 1 pregnant woman, and me.  Most of the class are long-time repeats but they are all welcoming and all supportive of my presence.  I try to avoid noticing that I have more trouble moving than anyone else in the class.

Reading a bit more.  Keeping totally odd hours, but going with what works.  Ghost-writing has been taking more of my time, enough that I contemplate cutting it down because worrying about getting it done is not good for me.  MM is not furloughed, but we know plenty of folks who are.  His mom's had some health issues and we may be headed out there this weekend (my body hates car rides, but we haven't been out in a while and it is the right thing to do...the 2-2.5h trip is pretty much my limit).  Once again feeling compelled to cheer for our HS football team (not that I had the slightest interest when I was in HS)...poor kids are 0 for 4 and, as in past years, it seems like a victory if they lose by fewer than 30 points. 

Keep intending to start blogging regularly again, but the intentions aren't translating into actions (despite still composing many a post in my head).  Largely tied to the time the ghost-writing takes me and the continued problems with mental focus (and, frankly, staying awake).  But I'm still out here!