Walk This Way

I confess...that I have no patience when walking to and from the T...

We saw an absolutely awful comedy show recently but one guy did make a comment that I've been saying since we moved here and walking became part of my commute...we need a real set of pedestrian rules. Clearly, I should be the arbiter for these rules so here's a start...

• Divide and conquer -- Lanes are a wonderful traffic tool, allowing grandma on her Sunday jaunt to proceed at her own pace while Young Hipster guns past her in the next lane. Let's use this principle on the sidewalks too...slow traffic keep right. Likewise, on escalators, walk left, stand right.
• Merging -- Again a driving principle we can use. If you are entering the "stream of traffic" (or crossing it), yield to oncoming "vehicles". Don't just blindly step out of your office building in front of folks already in motion.
• Keep On Truckin' -- Do not come to a sudden halt in the midst of a flowing stream of foot traffic (or greatly reduce your speed). This goes doubly for exiting escalators. It is a recipe for disaster.
• Group dynamics -- I'm glad you have friends, but walking as a pack carries extra responsibilities. If you are occupying the full width of the walkway and someone approaches from the opposite way, some members of the group must fall back to allow the passerby room. You should not stare angrily at said passerby or ignore them entirely and hope they will magically fly over your pack or sacrifice themselves and step into motor traffic. Likewise, if you are a slow-moving pack (esp. the kind adorned with cameras and sight-seeing maps), keep aware of folks coming from behind and looking to pass.
• Smokin' Hot -- I get that you are filling your nicotine jones between the office and the train. But, again, smoking means extra responsibility. Be aware of who ends up in your lovely smoke trail and give them extra leeway to pass to escape. And polluting the air is enough...don't toss your butts and pollute the ground too. I looked it up...while paper and tobacco will degrade fine, the filters will not.

As these have now been published, I expect compliance. I reserve the right to add or amend rules at any time...and expect compliance with those regardless of whether I've added it here or simply in my head.