I confess....I think we hear the lyrics that speak to where we are.
I've long enjoyed Dar Williams and "As Cool As I Am" has always been a favorite. I called it the "little sister song" because I thought it had the kind of message that women should share with younger women. Generally, I've heard the message about fellowship among women and not allowing a romantic partner to come in between those bonds.
When I was travelling this week, though, another couplet struck me: "I don't know what you saw / I want somebody who sees me." THIS. SO. MUCH. It is in many ways the lesson that I've learned in the past year. We deserve partners to see who we are, not who they think we should be. A partner should encourage growth and should help you push to be your best you, but they also should love who you are and meet you at that place.
I won't say that I've been perfect at being the see-er either. I needed to learn that it isn't about "the list"...that set concept of who we are meant to be with...it is about the person. It is about being proud of who they are inside, not their resume (although that IS part of someone, it is NOT all of them...or even most...). I wasn't appreciated for me in my past....I was looked at as a failure to be someone else, someone I could have been on paper but never was (nor wanted to be). Again, I was not flawless myself here and I own that.
But finding someone who "sees me" and loves me, "warts and all", has been crucial to growing to accept myself as well. And being able to "see them" and being PROUD to be part of another person's world...makes ME and WE pretty darn cool.