I confess...I have nothing new to say. My body is being so mean-spirited. I am relying too much on pain meds and going through them too fast. I am trying to hold on till my back appointment on the 21st but each day feels harder. The endo and back are both in on the game....one monster is reaching in below my navel to squeeze and twist with the other is twisting a knife in my spine (and sending a lesser pain down my leg).
I'm scared by the pain. I'm scared by running through serious medicine too fast. I'm scared this is my future. I say that I just need to know...to tell me if this is my fate so I can learn to accept it...but I'm not doing well at acceptance.
I want to run away from me.