Sunday, December 26, 2010

grumble

I confess....I'm going to whine.

I'm in a lot of pain.  It is the wrenching pelvic pain that comes from the endo and is always at its nastiest when I'm on the tail end of a bug.  It feels like someone reached inside my, around the hip line, and is twisting everything tightly. 

I spent the morning curled under the covers waiting till it got bad enough that my body let my mind go and I just passed out.  It isn't fainting, but it isn't real sleep either....it's hard to explain.  I was at the point where I just waited for it to get a little worse because I knew it would take me away.  It is an odd moment that only other pain folks get...when you almost want it to get a tiny bit worse so your mind leaves. 

I actually did walk a bit.  If I can get moving, I get a break while I'm going and for about 20 minutes after.  Then it comes back.  Worse.  Much worse.  I went back to bed.  I even curled up next to my mom...not at all like me...sometimes you just want Mommy...even if you are 33.  I curled up and shook...there's this odd point of pain that just makes me shake like a leaf....I have no idea why.

I'm out of medicine and feeling grouchy generally so I'm taking the totally unhealthy approach of wine and comfort food.  The wine will eventually help a bit with the pain.  The comfort food will...well, comfort.  Though the snow limits my options...but I'll make do. 

I was tempted to watch the football game...I normally couldn't care less but it's Philly versus Minnesota which has a bit of an emotional tie to it this year.  It is postponed till Tuesday...I doubt I'll watch it then, especially after an extra splurge day today (I know that isn't a logical result...my head works its own way).

1 comment:

midwestlantern said...

Hello, I wandered over here via MightyGirl. I have endo too and you are speaking my language! I've never heard another person articulate how it is when it gets so bad you "go away". It can get pretty trippy, but not in a way anyone would envy. I hope you are feeling better today! -Melissa