grumble

I confess....I'm going to whine.

I'm in a lot of pain.  It is the wrenching pelvic pain that comes from the endo and is always at its nastiest when I'm on the tail end of a bug.  It feels like someone reached inside my, around the hip line, and is twisting everything tightly. 

I spent the morning curled under the covers waiting till it got bad enough that my body let my mind go and I just passed out.  It isn't fainting, but it isn't real sleep either....it's hard to explain.  I was at the point where I just waited for it to get a little worse because I knew it would take me away.  It is an odd moment that only other pain folks get...when you almost want it to get a tiny bit worse so your mind leaves. 

I actually did walk a bit.  If I can get moving, I get a break while I'm going and for about 20 minutes after.  Then it comes back.  Worse.  Much worse.  I went back to bed.  I even curled up next to my mom...not at all like me...sometimes you just want Mommy...even if you are 33.  I curled up and shook...there's this odd point of pain that just makes me shake like a leaf....I have no idea why.

I'm out of medicine and feeling grouchy generally so I'm taking the totally unhealthy approach of wine and comfort food.  The wine will eventually help a bit with the pain.  The comfort food will...well, comfort.  Though the snow limits my options...but I'll make do. 

I was tempted to watch the football game...I normally couldn't care less but it's Philly versus Minnesota which has a bit of an emotional tie to it this year.  It is postponed till Tuesday...I doubt I'll watch it then, especially after an extra splurge day today (I know that isn't a logical result...my head works its own way).