Wednesday, February 18, 2009

what sounds easy

I confess that...I feel like I struggle with the strangest things.

For a while now, I've thought about cutting back on my weekly mileage. I'm tired a lot and sore much of the time. I always do take a rest day, but the my mileage has still been high. To be fully honest, when you add in both my workouts and informal walking (i.e. work to T), I've been over 50 miles pretty consistently. I got it into my head to average out to 7 miles a day and then decided 50 was a nicer number than 49. I've told myself there'd be no shame in going to 6 miles a day...42 per week. Mentally, I know that is PLENTY. I'm not training for anything and I'm well over the recommended cardio for health. But it is indescribably hard for me to actually do.

I took an unplanned rest day Monday. I can't recall my last unplanned rest day. I was in a LOT of pain and really just couldn't push myself through. I think it was the right call (Note to me: I do want to muse on the chronic pain and exercise thing eventually...it is pretty complicated, at least for me). I KNOW it was. But I can't get it out of my mind. I'll still end up with 42 miles, maybe a little more, if Thursday and Saturday are "normal". In fact, I was higher the first two weeks of the month so I'd actually still be over 7/day for February. I KNOW this is plenty. I'd tell anyone else that they are doing MORE than enough.

So why can't I LISTEN to that?

Obviously, there's a ton of complicated stuff in that answer. And I'm not going to type it all out...at least not here. I also know I am far from alone in this particular battle. But, thinking about it is making me more appreciative to how much of a struggle other addictions must be. I can be judgmental on addictions...smoking in particular...but I know firsthand that KNOWING and DOING are worlds apart.

2 comments:

Lauren said...

Sometimes, even though I know you struggle with nasty things that nobody should have to struggle with, I get insanely jealous of your commitment to putting in the workout.

You're very committed to the run, but are there 'other things' that you could do to satiate your need for the workout? That even if your mileage went down to a non-training level that you could still be okay with your workout? Cycling? Swimming? Dance? Martial Arts? Tennis? Anything?

Other than that, I think if your body is accustomed to the longer run and you're taking the rest when you need a rest - you're okay.

There are people who run everyday. One guy for like 40 years. http://runeveryday.com/lists/RunningStreakList.htm

*hugs*

clg1213 said...

i understand what you mean in the jealousy comment. i've felt that from a different issue in the past.

as for the other options, the building treadmill is just so convenient and there's something that satisfies my brain more about run/walk miles than the elliptical or recumbent bike which feel more subjective. totally the OCD in me.

i think there probably is a way to have a healthy habit at a high mileage level. but i think that would have to include being able to take lighter weeks without getting too down on it.

i gotta say, i do not think those 40 year types are embodying a healthy approach....