I confess that...I feel like I struggle with the strangest things.
For a while now, I've thought about cutting back on my weekly mileage. I'm tired a lot and sore much of the time. I always do take a rest day, but the my mileage has still been high. To be fully honest, when you add in both my workouts and informal walking (i.e. work to T), I've been over 50 miles pretty consistently. I got it into my head to average out to 7 miles a day and then decided 50 was a nicer number than 49. I've told myself there'd be no shame in going to 6 miles a day...42 per week. Mentally, I know that is PLENTY. I'm not training for anything and I'm well over the recommended cardio for health. But it is indescribably hard for me to actually do.
I took an unplanned rest day Monday. I can't recall my last unplanned rest day. I was in a LOT of pain and really just couldn't push myself through. I think it was the right call (Note to me: I do want to muse on the chronic pain and exercise thing eventually...it is pretty complicated, at least for me). I KNOW it was. But I can't get it out of my mind. I'll still end up with 42 miles, maybe a little more, if Thursday and Saturday are "normal". In fact, I was higher the first two weeks of the month so I'd actually still be over 7/day for February. I KNOW this is plenty. I'd tell anyone else that they are doing MORE than enough.
So why can't I LISTEN to that?
Obviously, there's a ton of complicated stuff in that answer. And I'm not going to type it all out...at least not here. I also know I am far from alone in this particular battle. But, thinking about it is making me more appreciative to how much of a struggle other addictions must be. I can be judgmental on addictions...smoking in particular...but I know firsthand that KNOWING and DOING are worlds apart.