go me.

I confess...I'm going to brag.

I'm having a hard time right now. Back to full work weeks, "behind" even my modified running goals b/c I've felt awful, still having hip problems.... So, I'm going to tell you (and myself) some vignettes and tidbits that you may not know (though I know them...) about me. All positives.

• I like to compliment strangers. More than one has said I've made their day.
• I saved my dad's life once. He stopped on the side of a road to go ask directions but didn't fully put the car in park. It started rolling, he tried to hop in and began to fall under it. I got over and stepped on the brake just in time.
• I send random "thank you" notes to random people sometimes who've just made me days better or whom I admire.
• As a camp counselor, I got a shy little girl to yell at the top of her lungs...probably for the first time ever. And convinced her she was smart (she was 5 and could read adult novels to me aloud). I later learned about spousal abuse in her home. I know I was a bright spot for her.
• I ran a half-marathon in 2007...this from the kid who was so out-of-shape she was excused from the mile run in junior high because she nearly stopped breathing.
• A professor once said to me "You sling the vernacular hash, but you know what you're talking about." I like that.
• I lost around 35 pounds. More if you consider that I gained a lot of muscle. That's while dealing with a binge-eating problem.
• I broke the finger of a 6th grade boy who picked on my friends...we were all in 2nd grade and he harassed a bunch of my friends (all boys) on the bus daily. He didn't bug me (I guess bugging little kids was fine but bugging a girl was not) but I got mad at him. I didn't get in trouble b/c he was probably too embarrassed to tell how it happened.
• In 4th grade, we did this Book-It thing where you had to read a number of books a month to "earn" a personal pan pizza. The teacher made my goal higher than the rest of the class because I read a lot already.
• I try new foods and love my veggies after being a VERY picky eater as a kid.
• I found my IQ test recently. 141. I am told that's pretty darn good.
• I get up every morning. That's a bigger accomplishment than you know.

for me, not you...but you can read it

I confess....this post is for me, not for you.

It is my reminder to me that I will be okay if I cut back my mileage. Really, I will. In fact, I got through December pretty much okay and I was WAY down due to injury. Yes, the scale crept up...but I know that was because of eating habits, not the lack of miles.

Even with a very low December, I finished 2009 at 2592.2 miles (treadmill + other walking like from the T to the office). I generally aimed for 50mpw....I wanted an average of 7mpd but 50 is so pretty and round and gave me extra room for injury weeks etc. I ended up higher (even using a lot of my "banked" miles).

And I limped into 2010 recovering from bursitis (and the treatment for it).

I do not like New Years Resolutions. I think change comes when you are ready....not when the calendar so commands. But, a year is a handy measuring device and my little running log does yearly totals. So, my non-resolution...my reminder to myself...I will aim for 35-45mpw...and will be OKAY if I'm on the lower end...or even with less if it is smart healthwise (i.e. injury, illness, etc).

anxious, or not, or maybe so

I confess...I'm taking it in stride, and somehow worried about that.

I've been injured for a while. Rest really hasn't helped, but doing much at all is completely out of the question....it hurts just to walk to the ladies room (which I do more since I'm not dehydrated from a morning w/o)...heck, it hurts even sitting or lying down. I have an appointment next week to get things looked at and get more advice. So I'm being "good" and "smart."

I've done surprisingly well with not working out, compared to past experiences where it was pretty anxiety producing. Now here's the frank part with the admission I don't want to really make...I think that's because I also started on an antidepressant (another blogger helped me realize the importance of being frank about these things...more people need to be). I'm not sure if it has made me less anxious or if it is the fact that it has definitely made me more lethargic. I feel a bit bad about the missed treadmill dates but not the way I would have. And I haven't felt the need to cut back on food or anything. I have had MORE "off" days...but that's actually normal for me when I am gym-limited and related to both my birthday, the holidays, and it just being cold out.

But there's a part of me that's really worried by my lack of worry. It is FINE now...it is GOOD now...when I really should NOT being pressing myself and SHOULD be resting. But will my motivation come back? I KNOW I can (and should) cut my normal mileage back a bit...but it would not be healthy to stop entirely either. Especialy if I continue with the extra dining after the holidays end.

Really, only I can get anxious about not being anxious. It's a talent.